Empathy Emancipation
Once upon a time, there were two young people, Mira and Kravayt. The two had a very similar dream but two very different approaches to it. He wanted to be persuasive and dominating to get his ideas through while she wanted to listen to the many different approaches which others could brew up and then form a final solution having best of everyone’s thoughts. For a few years, Kravayt did manage to rise quickly upon the corporate ladder with his dashing personality, intellect and vehemence to get desired results from his colleagues. She, on the contrary, was struggling to balance her primary goals and her intent to understand others before proceeding to actions. A few years passed by. Now, Kravayt was President of Logistics in his MNC while Mira too had become a part of her company’s leadership and given the responsibility of handling the entire manufacturing department. Kravayt was facing issues in his new role. He had conflicts with almost all the other board members, subordinates and if he would try to exercise dominance, then he would often be met with non-cooperation. On the other hand, Mira had one of the strongest networks and excellent relations with all her colleagues and subordinates. She knew everyone personally and was clear about her own ideas too. This led to a rapid scaling of her ideas into work which was completed with utter dedication from her team and cherished by her colleagues. She was even referenced in the article ‘Inspiring Leaders’ published by the National Industrial Development Organisation. In their personal lives too, while he was struggling to strike a chord with his children and sustain his marriage, she was seen as a loving mother, wife, daughter and daughter-in-law. Indeed the first approach was easy and a shortcut to the top of the chain, the second albeit difficult, was sustainable and ensured a peaceful permanence once you reach the top.
“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care” — Theodore Roosevelt
Even someone who is perfectly happy at this point of time might have experienced being misunderstood or the invective which was thrown frivolously at them due to their own lack of skill to understand others. But the mere absence of abstract acknowledgment is not what triggers agitation; it is the lack of will to act, by those whom one expects to support in a time of need which hurts. Dramatic or trepid, the nature is irrelevant, for it was an aberration nonetheless and it still surfaces in your mind. A teacher provides the answer, literally otherwise, but figuratively here. To teach, we must first study the subject-matter meticulously ourselves. To do that, we must understand what empathy is, how it originates within our biological system, whether it is natural or synthetic; and if it is of any significance in this world split between ambition and painted altruism.
“Be the change you want to see in the world” — Mahatma Gandhi.
Empathy is the will to act post understanding something from someone else’s perspective. How different is it from sympathy? To express tersely, sympathy is often associated with sorrow while empathy isn’t and empathy cannot be faked. Yet, the two rhyming siblings are weltered carelessly in their usage and thus often misused. Too much use of the word understanding, eh? The origin of how humans learn new things and develop an “understanding” can help us use it in context of empathy. That origin is biological, then psychological and lastly social.
So let’s start with the biological aspect. The root of our understanding is the development of mirror neurons within our brain. Mirror neurons, have fascinated psychologists as well as neurologists, while their objective as well as importance is yet to be fully defined. These neurons fire when a person performs any action or observes someone perform some action. These neurons enable your brain to instruct our body as to how a certain thing is to be done when you observe someone else do it. In short, learning from observation. Be it walking, catching a ball, bringing a hot beverage to a dolorous friend, extol someone who is at the onset of learning something new, or any other acquired skill / habit. Thus, whether tangible or not, we are naturally capable of replicating someone else’s actions and feeling what they can. Therefore, to suppress empathy in the name of pursuit of your dreams, we are responsible for mutilating our own capability of understanding others or explaining ourselves well. If we were supposed to be antisocial and apathy was indeed the need for coming out on top of your ecology, then evolution would’ve done the needful by now. Instead, we have developed our natural neural networks even further while undergoing evolution. Interestingly, this is because mirror neurons themselves get trained consciously by us about what they are supposed to pick up in the name of learning and what is to be ignored. This is where psychology plays its part.
“It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.” — Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
Nuances are what make this world so dainty, especially those which are a result of our choices. The things we choose to learn are themselves a manifestation of how we empathize subconsciously. The experiences we gain while growing up, imbue subtle differences in how we process our surroundings. If we grow up with parents who support each other as well as give you the needful support in times of stress, you learn how to empathize. Antagonistically, someone who was bred among buccaneers wouldn’t be moved even at the sight of murder. In the psychological development of empathy, along with parenting, education also plays a very crucial role. One who is taught to love literature isn’t merely made to read content, but is taken through a world where one can relate with all the different characters, their quaint personalities, their contribution to the stories and also with the author’s perspective. Schools where camaraderie is inspired among its students are often the alma maters of those who lead the world. Where malevolence can be bartered for ephemeral success, the ones with virtue seem to be eternally strong in their noble pursuits, thus being capable of sharing happiness owing to the intent to do something good for others, which is what, if not empathy. This learning about how you relate to every different person, is an ongoing process which never stops. That is the impact of psychology, the proctor to our empathy and the method of our learning from others. After all, each one of us in convivial in our own ways. And this is the onset of social influence on our will to morph our thoughts to match that of someone else. That is the sociology embedded within our psychology.
“I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.” — Maya Angelou
We are a reflection of those we surround ourselves with. In a place where there is no scarcity of humans or their thoughts, the world would have become a complicated mess even more than it is if it was devoid of people developing common beliefs. How do you think that happened? We didn’t experience it all. We decided to look at those things from the perspective of those who have. Most of us have never tasted everything they cook on a lifestyle channel’s show. Yet our acquiescence is obvious from our visage while listening to the experiences of those who have. We haven’t hurt a child, not because we were subject to cruelty but because we were explained that it is a horrible thing to do. We neither criticize those who are differently abled nor do we laugh in the face of someone in pain. If we can follow such norms which find their origin in the book of empathy, then can’t we formulate some of our own doctrines which help us become better human beings and develop a society, more comforting to those who blame it itself for their misery? These things merely help us see through the mist of what empathy could do other than just sound good in corporate training sessions. Thus, there are indeed more applications of empathy than what we believe.
“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” — Albert Einstein.
From all this, we do understand that we can use this power to greatly benefit ourselves and others if we use it well. Not just on a personal scale but also on an industrial scale as well. To act in the interest of your customers and provide more than just that what has been demanded, to create the moment of magic, is also an application of empathy shrouded as corporate strategy. Fostering better understanding and a better partnership, can be most easily achieved if we take initiative to understand others. This can get us in the good books of many who can help us if and when we need it. Being misunderstood is such a cliché. To explain ourselves in a manner that the others understand our motive, goal and methods correctly; we ought to devise our explanation which is ideally suited to be most lucrative and informative for the one on the receiving end. This understanding of our audiences for the sake of altering our way of presenting anything is a quintessence of how empathy is not an act of charity but truly something that brings about mutual benefit. If conviction is the payment then empathy is the reception. One without the other will bring all natural interactions to an abominable end. It is the hint to finding the answer to the question that asks whether our lives serve a higher purpose or not. To be more than just individuals, to become more than mere homo-sapiens, we are supposed to achieve sapiens-alveo (hive sapience) where all our collective intelligence will allow us to pull off impossible feats. One of the ways, it seems, to reach that stage is to exercise empathy and appreciate it for the so many ways in which it serves to make our lives better.
